DANCE WITH MY FATHER…

It seems like just yesterday that I danced with my father.

I remember when I was 5 years old and running to him the minute I’d hear a Freddy Fender song play and stand on his feet and grab his waist so that we could dance together.  Before the Last Teardrop Falls, was one of our favorites and he would hold me as we danced together across the room…I never wanted the song to end.  And the lyrics were fitting:

 I’ll be there anytime

You need me by your side

To drive away every teardrop that you cried…

 I share a lot of blessed memories with my father along with life long lessons:

-Dad taught me that cleanliness is next to Godliness.  I never had a hair out of place, a stain on my clothes or a scuff mark on my shoes.  If he could carry me so that I wouldn’t touch the dirty ground, he’d do it…even now, if I’d let him.

-Dad could do the laundry, wash all the cars, vacuum the entire house, dust and cook up lunch all before 12 noon.

-Wrinkles were not allowed.  My brother and I walked around in starched and pressed clothes.  Our creases had creases!  Dad was a slave to the iron (it had to be the Navy man in him)

-Dad knew I sucked at math and he was always patient with me.  My math problems never made sense until he’d show me how to do it

-When it came to deadbeat boyfriends, he’d let me fall.  He always trusted that I was smart enough to make my own decisions when it came to guys and in the end I’d always drop the zeros

-My dad was in the military, so there were many times where he’d have to go out to sea — 9 months to a year at a time.  I remember how he’d take the family out for a drive the night before he had to leave and we’d get ice cream and just enjoy driving around with him until the sun set

-I remember when the morning would come for dad to leave to the ship for Westpac and I’d cry uncontrollably after he’d leave.  I never wanted him to see me cry because I didn’t want to make him sad or have his last image of me in tears

-I remember the Grease soundtrack that my dad bought me.  I played it so much that I wore the tape out and he ended up buying me anothe rcopy

-I always looked forward to the road trips we made to San Antonio, Texas in dad’s brown Camaro

-Because Dad was a stickler on having a well manicured lawn, he never let us have a Slip-n-Slide.  “It damages the grass!” he’d say

-I remember the purple bike he taught me to ride without training wheels.  It was the coolest bike ever and I’m sure he was on the verge of having a coronary watching me fall constantly.  I’m surprised I wasn’t wrapped in bubble wrap from the first attempt

-If my brother or I got hurt, Dad would automatically get upset, “WHAT?! What NOW?!”  He immediately went into panic mode

-One of the hardest days of my life was having to tell my father that his dad, my grandfather, had pased away

-Dad was the first person to ever introduce me to rap music!  He had the vinyl record for The Sugar Hill Gang, Rapper’s Delight.  I loved the song so much, that to this day, I still remember every single lyric. (I’m a pretty big hit at karaoke bars)

-My dad always waited up for me when I went out with my girlfriends.  I’d always bring him home a late night treat like a dessert or Mexican food and we’d stay up in the kitchen and just talk

-When my mother would cook live and onions (a dish I despised) Dad would say, “Mmmm, higado (Spanish for liver)…eat it!  It’sll put hair on your chest!”

-My dad is obsessive compulsive when it comes to locked doors.  he’ll quadruple check the front door and garage door before he goes to sleep.  He’d always tell me to keep my car door locked when I went out and made me prove it as I backed out of the driveway

-When I decided that it was a good idea to “bleach” my brown hair in the 8th grade and it turned orange, he said I looked like an Aztec Indian.  I scoffed…but now looking back at the pic-Yikes, it was horrible.

-My dad washed his hair with soap and always smelled good

-Dad could always bake up a mean Bundt cake and cheesecake

-My dad was a stickler when it came to time management.  If my curfew was 12 midnight, he meant 12 midnight on the dot. Not 12:01, not 12:03.  If I wasn’t through the door at exactly 12 midnight, I would expect him sitting and waiting for me on the stairs with a clock in his hand asking me if I knew what time it was

-”Where’s my change?” was his favorite line

-”Dad, do you have a couple a bucks?” was mine

-I remember when The Wonderful World of Disney would come on TV when I was little.  I would grab a pillow and make myself comfy on dad’s lap and we’d watch it together

-I’d always pretend that I was asleep in the car when we’d drive home late from somewhere and he’d end up having to pick me up and take me to my room

-My father was such a great husband to my mother. He loved her and I reveled in the affection he showed her

-When mom and I would get in a disagreement, I would run to him and he’d listen- even though he’d usually be in agreement with my mother, I still felt like he had my back

-Dad was the only one who could make me laugh until my sides hurt

-Even when I visit my father’s house today, the flood of warm memories fill my soul as soon as I walk through his front door.

My father was and still is, the epitome of a great man.  His love and inspiration have transformed me into the woman I am today.  He taught me to never settle for second best and brought me up knowing that I could have anything I wanted with hard work.  His encouraging words and unconditional love continue to resonate.  Every chapter in my life from childhood to adulthood to marriage and children, I continue to look to him for guidance.

The last time I danced with my father, it was during my wedding.  And like the Freddy Fender song, I didn’t want it to end.  Deep inside, I felt that once the song ended and he let go…that I’d have to move on and let go of him.  But …I haven’t…and never will.

If I could get another chance…Another walk, another dance with him, I’d play a song that would never, ever end.  How I’d love to dance with my father again…

Happy Father’s Day, Dad…I love you.

Mom…

 

This picture sits at my office at work.

I can’t help but smile whenever I look at it.

It has all the elements that make me happy: the wind, the beach, the white sand between my four year old toes…and my mother…

I look at this picture and I see a child with no worries in the world with a mother who constantly dotes over her with all her love and support; a father behind the camera who captures the moment on film knowing that one day his daughter will look back on this photo with heartfelt emotion and love.

I still hear the waves crashing in the background and the seagulls fluttering above.

I still smell her Oil of Olay skin cream and the scent of her flowery perfume.

It’s a perfect mixture that dances with the fresh ocean air and warm sun.

Her warm hugs and infectious laughter still resonate within my soul.

The joy, the energy, the light in her eyes when she looked at me.  I was her world.

The smiles…the happiness…the comfort of being a kid.

A blessed childhood.

A moment in time captured to remind me of the cimplicity of life and what really matters: Family-Love-Togetherness

This photo captures the essence of who I am today: a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend.

Time goes by so fast, I can hardly catch my breath.

I now create these memories with my little girls.

I, now, the doting mommy with all the love and support to give.

In my daughters’ eyes, I’m now the hero.

But…I still need her…my mom…my hero…

When the world seems just too heavy and I want to escape, I think of her…

If I could just hold my mother’s hand and dig my four year old little toes into the white sand once again…

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

SANDRA GUADARRAMA-BAUMUNK is the mother of two little girls and through the urging of family and friends, has written about the comical life and times of parenting her children along with the issues the modern day mom faces.  She is currently working on a book to bring the memoirs of her blog to life:  thenotsoperfectmom.com.  She lives with her daughters and husband in Maricopa, AZ.

Let’s Be Honest

After the September 11th attacks we all wanted our government to protect us from the threat of terrorism.  The Bush administration (with the suggestion of several Democrats) created the Department of Homeland Security to do just that.  This week that agency created a firestorm when they released a report called, Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment. 

The assessment warns that, “rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues,” such as the economic downturn and the election of our nation’s first black president.  In addition, “rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to exploit their skills and knowledge derived from military training and combat.”

It goes on to say, “Many rightwing extremists are antagonistic toward the new presidential administration and its perceived stance on a range of issues, including immigration and citizenship, the expansion of social programs to minorities and restrictions on firearms ownership and use.”  Later it says, “rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to exploit their skills and knowledge derived from military training and combat.” Now, everyone seems to be saying this report is offensive to veterans, people that believe in state’s rights and the constitution.  Some even believe the government is keeping tabs on conservatives that don’t agree with abortion.

Even Senator John McCain chimed in, ”I think it’s an insult to the men and women who have served our country in the armed services.”  Senator Jon Kyl added, “I don’t know where they get the idea that somebody who served the country, who’s pro-10th Amendment, pro-Second Amendment, who’s pro-state’s rights, makes them a security threat to the United States.  That’s sort of a belief in the U.S. Constitution in my book.” 

Can I be honest with you?  If you think this way you are over reacting.  Nowhere in this Homeland Security assessment does it say that returning military members are a threat.  It simply points out that a 2008 FBI report found that “some” returning veterans have become involved with white supremacy groups.  That’s a fact.  It’s not conjecture.  Nowhere in this report does it say that if you believe in the U.S. Constitution, if you are pro-life, go to Church or if you belive in the right to own a gun you are an extremist.  It’s just not in there.  The government isn’t watching you.  They don’t have the resources or the time. 

The Department of Homeland Security is doing exactly what we asked them to do back in 2001.  They are studying different organizations to determine whether or not they pose a threat to this country.  DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano called them “routine.”She added, “Let’s focus on what this is.  It’s an assessment of a situation where you have a down economy and other factors that go on that historically have given rise to violence…we (DHS) try to protect against violence all the time.”  The report warns of the rise of extremists groups similar to those that formed in the 1990’s.  It’s not talking about attending a tea party.  So let’s be honest.  Let’s stop trying to drum up fear and make this something it’s not.

You remember the name Richard Poplawski?  On April 4, 2009 he murdered three police officers in Pittsburgh.  He had no real reason to kill them though he thought Obama was going to take his guns away.  He frequented white surpremacist chat rooms talking about a “Zionist occupation.”  He even attempted to become a Marine in 2005, but was discharged after punching his drill sergeant.  Clearly, this murderer is disturbed.  He is the type of person DHS want law enforcement to look out for, not you.

Baseball fans with no class

Last Wednesday afternoon I was able to attend a Diamondbacks game with the Ankarlo team and as I was there an inning had ended and one of the d-back players flung the ball into the crowd and I saw kids with their gloves ready to catch it,  as soon as it came upon them two adult males tried to grab it up and in doing so bumped some of the kids and caught the ball for their own. It was clearly for one of the kids and these two IDIOTS had thought they were funny and clever. I saw the disappointment in the kids faces and the anger in some of the other fans, and as I looked up at the jerk that took the ball and was about to say something but lucky for me I didn’t have to because the two men got an ear full from other people around them. The jerk with the ball just  smiled and showed everyone that he had the ball and just kept taunting the crowd that he was the IDIOT of the week. While he was doing this along came two older ladies, they went over to the IDIOT and said something to him that made him and his companion leave their seats. The IDIOT had a sour look on his face and just left, I wish I knew what was said but it didn’t matter at this point because they were leaving and the fans around them were clapping as they left.

I just don’t understand why people have to be such IDIOTS and not think about other people other then themselves. If it’s not in the ball park it could be on the freeway, a store , restaurant, ect. I had a great time with friends  and  kudos to the fans that spoke up and told the IDIOT that he was an IDIOT for doing what he did and hopefully he will think twice doing something like that again, but I doubt it.

Today my daughter turned 10

It’s a bittersweet moment for me.  I’m excited that  she’s entered the double digits and has a lot to look forward to come her teenage years…and yet…my heart is heavy with the thoughts of yesterday…

Ten years ago at 9:43 am and four hours of labor, she entered the world - all 7lbs 12 oz. of her.  Like any new mother, as soon as my eyes met hers, the love was instantaneous.  her tiny little hand grasped my finger and she fit so perfectly in my arms; at that very moment, nothing else in the world mattered.

I named her Mia Angelica.  I wanted a name that was short and sweet but exuded confidence and strong will.  After seeing the world renowned soccer player, Mia Hamm on T.V. I knew that was the name I wanted.

When we brought her home from the hospital, she had what seemed like a never-ending bout with colic.  There were many sleepless nights and endless tears (and that was just me).  I thought I was supposed to have one of those “perfect” babies that you see on T.V.-you know, those shiny, smiley babies that never cry.  I was in for such a rude awakending.  She hated sleeping in her crib, always wanted to be held and insisted on falling asleep on my chest every time.

Mia hated to be away from me.  I could not leave the room without her wailing like someone was pulling her toenails out with a pair of rusty pliers.  She always wanted to be carried and had to have me at arm’s length at all times.  I thought this phase would never end and that I would forever be joined at the hip with her.

But as time went on, she started to need me less and less…

She no longer needs me to kiss her goodbye when I drop her off at school in the monring (that just doesn’t happen in the 4th grade).  She pours her own milk in her cereal bowl.  She showers and gets ready for school by herself.  When she talks with her best friend, Jade on the phone, she leaves the room.  She doesn’t need me to hold her hand anymore when crossing the street.  She closes the bathroom door now and can tie her own ponytail.  She has her own opinions…her own thoughts…her own dreams.  What happened to that little hand that grabbed my finger so tightly 10 years ago?

All this time, she had been letting go; without me noticing, she slowly unleashed her grip from my finger and also…my life.

Independence replaced me.

MIA  TURNED 10

As I sit here tonight watching her sleep, I can’t help but feel sad.  My little girl is growing up.  Her little round face has metamorphasized overnight right in front of me.  Her long body frame and her size 5 narrow feet show all the sign s of a beauty in the making.  I no longer see the chubby, fat toes of a toddler or the sticky mouth of a first grader.

I wipe away my “happy tears” and ben dwon to feel her cheek and kiss her forehead…

and out of nowhere…

she reaches for my finger

and holds tight…

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

SANDRA GUADARRAMA-BAUMUNK is the mother of two little girls and through the urging of family and friends, has written about the comical life and times of parenting her children along with the issues that the modern day mom faces.  She is currently working on a book to bring the memoirs of her blog to life: thenotsoperfectmom.com.  She lives with her daughters and husband in Maricopa, AZ. 

thenotsoperfectmom.com

Spending time with the kids

Last weekend I had the chance to spend some time with my two boys who are 7 and 3 years old. I work two jobs and have been pretty busy as of late so I rarely get to have any family time. My wife is a trooper holding down the fort when I’m working and taking care of 3 kids ( I have a daughter too). Last Saturday my little guy and I went to the movies and then out to lunch. He told me all about what he does when he’s in pre-school and what kind of toys he would like to get when he turns four later this month. I watched him look at me at times and smile and I just knew that he knew my attention was all towards him and we had a great time. I got to know a little bit more about my little guy and it made me very happy and also sad because as a father I should have known all that along time ago.

My oldest son and I went to a Phoenix Coyotes game that night and had a fun time, he too told me alot about school and what he was looking forward to getting for his birthday this week. He told me what he knew about hockey and what players were his favorite. He liked the fact that we were out with his dad’s co-workers and friends from work(Ankarlo team) and that he could eat all the junk food he wanted and not worry what mom would say. Later that night when I tucked him in bed, he looked at me and said thanks dad, this was one of my favorite days ever. Wow…Talk about trying to keep it together, I smiled at him and being choked up with what he said, I told him Your welcome son, thanks for making my night the best ever.

I know alot of us work and can’t always be there for our kids when we want to but that Saturday taught me to be more aware of how my kids are doing and to try to spend as much time as I can, even if it’s just 10 minutes to talk or let them show you what they did in school that day. I always want my kids to know that their father and mother always made time for them no matter what time of day or how tired we were.

MY CAR - THE TRAVELING JUNK DRAWER

Yup.  There is no denying it.  My car is a traveling junk drawer.

The thing about it is…it’s not any ordinary, small junk drawer.

It’s an SUV, TAHOE-SIZED junk drawer.

BUT, I have an excuse.

I travel 36 miles to downtown everyday to drop off my kids and go to work and then I drive 36 miles back home in the evening.  We spend A LOT of time in the car - which means  A LOT of crap accumulates.  I knew it was time for me to clean things out when everytime I took a turn, I felt all the junk slide from one side of the truck to the other.

I took inventory the other day when I attempted to just “pick up” a littel bit and here’s just a few things I came across.

-overdue libary book from the Phoenix library

-Barbie with no top

-Broken yo-yo

-DVDs with missing cases

-DVD cases with missing DVDs.

-Hair clips

-2 tubes of Hannah Montana lip gloss

-2 kick balls

-Half eaten bag of melted M&Ms

-Homework from 2 months ago

-1 empty Capri Sun

-2 quarters, 3 pennies and a nickel with hair

-Pack of Bubbilicious

-Jonas Brothers book

-School uniform top

-Crayons

-4 markers

-Girl Scout cookies in the box

-Pillow

-1 flip flop

-Headband

-Stickers from doctor’s office

-4 goldfish crackers

-Littlest Pet Shop toys

-Nintendo DS game

-Bookmarker

-Movie Tickets

-Farting slime (stick fingers in a bucket of slime and it makes fart noises)

-Sketch books

-Stuffed monkeys

-Stuffed puppy with a hot pink tutu

-A McDonald’s french fry

-Sonic cherry slush stain on rug

Oh…I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  It was enough to start my own little retail business.  I constantly tell myself that I’m never going to let it get like that again!  But I fail miserably every time.

I used to be envious of other people who have spotless cars that smell like crisp, new leather.  No smudges on the windows or sticky residue on the seat.  They were the ones who didn’t have to throw things under the seat or hide all the crap under a jacket when other people rode in the car with them.

I used to be envious.

But now I realize how lucky I really am.

Taking inventory of my car also forced me to take inventory of my life and how blessed I really am.  I have transportation.  I have beautiful, healthy children.  I have a car of things that they love.  It will only be a matter of time before those childhood items will be replaced with memories.  It’s hard to accept that one day I won’t have my “junk drawer” to complain about.  (It was hard enough getting rid of their infant car seats).

I sigh heavily as I hold the stuffed puppy in the hot pink tutu close to my heart.  I place it back in my car…along with the pillow, the topless Barbie, stuffed monkey, Nintendo games, crayons, markers…

and yes…

even the farting slime. 

More on:  notsoperfectmom.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

SANDRA GUADARRAMA-BAUMUNK is the mother of two little girls and through the urging of family and friends, has written about the comical life and times of parenting her children along with the issues that the modern day mom faces. She is currently working on a book to bring the memoirs of her blog to life: thenotsoperfectmom.com. She lives with her daughters and husband in Maricopa, AZ.

Obama Over-Under Game

On Wednesday’s show I told you that I was going to start an over/under betting game in Vegas based on the content of President Obama’s speech.  Though he had the cheerleading ingredients the nation needs right now, his plans were just an elaborate sales presentation for another trip into our wallets.  So I said he would ask for more money in less than six months and if I could set up the gambling deal I’d be rich because it was a sure thing.  I didn’t know how much of a sure thing it was because on Wednesday he asked for $634 billion and his thugs in the Capitol Okayed an additional $410 billion.  If you’re keeping score Obama is near the two trillion dollar mark in spending—in less than six weeks.  At first I thought I was feeling bad that that I had missed my Vegas opportunity but then it struck me—I can set up a new version of the game anytime I want because something tells me, Obama and his gang will be back for my wallet whenever they darned well please.  And, in case you’re wondering, yes your odds are much better in Vegas than they are in Washington. 

Ankarlo’s Take is written for broadcast.  You can hear it live during Arizona’s Morning News at 7:20 on News/Talk 92.3 KTAR.

To Mia & Sofia to Read When You Attend Your Senior Prom

It’s a magical time in your life when you get asked to your senior prom.  I think every girl starts fantasizing about her senior prom as soon as she hits high school.  You think about the dress, your hair, make-up, the limo, the dance, the guy.  You want it to be like the proms you see in movies and Seventeen magazine.  You want to make memories tht you’ll live to tell your kids about.

I want you both to know that you are both special girls and any guy that has the honor of taking you to prom needs to be advised that your father will be waiting, with heavy artillery, if you are not returned in the conditiion you left in.

My senior prom was interesting.  I ended up taking the guy I was dating at the time.  He was alright…a typical jock.  I wore a pink gown with lace gloves and matching heels and corsage.  I wore my hair down but teased it about an inch high.  My date wore a white tux wiht a pink cumberbund with his hair gelled back.  (Geez, it’s starting to sound like the making of a bad 80’s teen movie).

I didn’t go in a limo.  He picked me up in his mom’s freshly washed Nissan Maxima and took me straight to prom.  We didn’t go to a nice restaurant like the rest of my friends did, he said we’d get something afterward.  (Here’s where it get’s interesting…)  We stayed until the end of prom and he took me to Subway for a footlong sub.  (No, I am not making this up)  then he mentions that he got a room at a local motel. 

There I sat at a gross Subway shop in my pink prom dress with matching heels and lace gloves pondering my decision on why I took this guy to my last dance as a senior.  I sat in front of my footlong seafood and crab with a blank stare.  Is this how my senior prom date is going to end?  At a dirty sub shop in San Diego at midnight?  WTF?  He seriously thought that I was going to give it up after going to prom (which we didn’t even dance at) and dining at Subway!

It wasn’t my idea of how I wanted to finish the night.  I always envisioned going to a prom after party with all my friends and hanging out ’til the wee hours of the morning toasting to our impending college life.  I wanted it to be like the ending in the movie Footloose, when Kevin Bacon and the rest of the high schoolers dance the night away under all the glittery confetti raining down.

Unfortunately, it didn’t end that way.  I had him take me right home after the fine dining experience at Subway.

Is there a point to this story?

Yes, there is.

I want you both to enjoy your prom.  I want you to have the time of your lives surrounded by all your good friends.  I want you to have your dream dress and spectacular limo.  I want you to take tons of pictures to capture the magic of the night.  I want you to go to prom with someone who respects you and wants to be a part of giving you the time of your life.

(I don’t want you to give it up to some guy who buys you a sandwich and thinks he can have his way with you.)

But most of all …respect yourself.

You’re my girls and the most precious things in my life.  You deserve the best and no man will ever good enough for you in my eyes.  So find someone worthy of your time and affection.

Becasue…You both deserve the glittery confetti…

Best show you attended

O.k before you know it spring time will be here and then the summer. I know you can’t wait for those 100 plus degree temperatures and those high electric bills but for me summer brings big summer concerts. I was reading in Billboard Magazine the other day that a huge rock show was announced for The third Rock on the Range festival in May 16-17 at Crew Stadium in Columbus, Ohio. Here are the bands coming for all you rockers out there and I know their are a lot of you.Slipknot, Motley Crue, Alice In Chains, Avenged Sevenfold and Korn, Shinedown, Buckcherry, the Used, Atreyu, Chevelle, Flyleaf, Saving Abel, Saliva, Blue October, Hoobastank and Black Stone Cherry. Wow , now that is a line up for two days and I’m sure as time passes more bands will be announced. It’s to bad we don’t have something like that coming here in the summer, but then again who can stand to be out in 100 degree heat. Anyway I got thinking about the best summer shows I have ever attended and the one I enjoyed  was Ozzfest in 1997 and the Lollapalooza tour in 1991. Now I know some of us don’t have a lot of money left over to see a show this year or maybe next but when you did have the green stuff in your pocket what was your favorite concert that you ever attended. Oh by the way Nine Inch Nails will tour later this year with the reunited Jane’s Addiction, no dates announced but keep your fingers crossed that they come here. Just in case you care.

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