Look out! The U.S. is in the middle of the largest recall of beef ever, so it’s a fine time to bring you “The Top 7 Signs You’re Eating Tainted Beef”!
In the 7 o’clock hour, we’ll tell you about an Obama supporter who showed up and started heckling Bill Clinton at a stump speech! He says the former president gave him a pop in the face! Could this be true?! If so — wow! — Hillary might have to fire him!
You won’t believe what they’re going to start teaching kids in school! California state senators are trying to pass a bill that would have kids learning about global warming as if it’s a proven fact! I don’t like it! We can’t have schools hitting kids over the head with environmentalist propaganda! It’s our 8 o’clock topic!
At 8:50, star reporter Sandra Haros gives us the details of today’s robbery-turned-cop- shooting! Wait till you hear what the idiot criminal was willing to potentially kill and actually die for!
It’s Monday night and that means legendary ABC newsman Sam Donaldson weighs in on crazy Bill Clinton, the albatross around Hillary’s neck! Also, during our 9 o’clock talk, we’ll ask Sam where John Edwards’ delegates will land and whether the president will support McCain!
Speaking of Bush and McCain, the senior George Bush is endorsing the Arizona senator! I wonder if these two geezers compare notes on their swelling prostates!
After 9:30, Hanna Scott fights for her broadcasting life as we test her presidential knowledge! She’ll have two lifelines and they’d better be good because, if she loses, she’s fired!
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