Archive for April, 2008

Gaydos After Dark–Thursday, April 10, 2008

Published on April 10, 2008 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Sir Elton John appeared at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton and said Americans are “misogynists”! I looked it up! It means we hate women! We start tonight’s show with “The Top 7 Other Surprises at the Elton John Fundraising Bash for Hillary”!

At 7 o’clock, could that be true? Do American voters shun Hillary because she’s a woman? I say no. The voters just don’t like her and they’d feel the same way, even if she came equipped with different parts! Plus, why is a Knight of the British Empire commenting on who we’re willing to vote for? For cryin’ out loud!

Who would have thought Governor Janet Napolitano couldn’t take a joke! Especially a joke as freakin’ great as KTAR’s April Fool’s Day prank! There’s talk of levying a fine against our station for the chaos we supposedly created with our fake story on toll roads! A lot of you got the joke and loved it!  Can we impeach her for having no sense of humor?  At 8 o’clock, we’ll ask, can’t we make a stinkin’ joke?

At 9, is the government going to just come riding to the rescue of a couple of million people experiencing home foreclosures?  There’s always some dope whose willing to make stupid financial decisions!  Why start bailing out every dumb bunny now?!  Let the learning begin, ladies and gentlemen; it’s Gaydosnomics 101!

It’s Red V. Blue Thursday and we bring you Presidential Match Game!  No holds are barred and there’s no telling what our contestants and panelists will say!  We’re talking the vote every Thursday at 9:30!

Anti-China demonstrations have surrounded Olympic Torch ceremonies this week but, as we wrap up tonight’s show, I’ll you why I doubt they’ll make any difference whatsoever!

 
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Gaydos After Dark–Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Published on April 10, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Tons of people are racing to settle here in Phoenix and that includes folks coming from north of the border to get into our real estate market! We’ll tell you how to recognize these wily Canucks in “The Top 7 Signs a Canadian Owns the House Next Door to You”!

We find out during our first hour that, based on 2006/2007 statistics, 63% of homicide victims in Phoenix are Hispanic! What’s more, 50% of the suspects in those cases are in the U.S. illegally! Now, you can throw around the idea that Sheriff Joe is a Nazi—or a racial profiler—or whatever—but, I think this statistic shows that every time Arpaio sends an illegal home, he’s doing the Hispanic community a gigantic favor!

Attendees of the Bisbee High School Prom will receive a nice goody bag for their big night! It will contain, among other things, condoms! I think it’s a fantastic idea! Some people say it’ll encourage kids to have sex, but do they honestly think teenagers need encouragement? This is our 8 o’clock topic and I say, it can’t hurt to give them a safety net, even it’s manufactured from latex!

Just before 9, we’ll hear a “John McCain Senior Moment”! J-Mac’s an older guy. He may confuse his grandkids’ names—or apples and oranges—but Shiite and Sunni Muslims? That’s loopy, even for Grampa John!

In our final hour, the Obama campaign went nuts when one of his delegates was accused of making racist remarks to neighborhood children! The dumb thing is, she was just asking the kids to stop playing around in a tree “like monkeys.” Yes, they were black children and some lowlifes would use the word “monkey” in a racist way, but this is hypersensitive overkill! Monkeyshines, horseplay, reindeer games—let’s retain our sanity and realize this comment was purely innocuous!

7 to 10, 7 to 10, 7 to 10; that’s how I roll!!!

 
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Gaydos After Dark–Monday, April 7, 2008

Published on April 7, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Protesters have gone out of their way to disrupt Olympic ceremonies all over the place, including today in Paris! They’re demonstrating against China’s treatment of Tibet, so we’ll bring you “The Top 7 Surprises During the Olympic Torch Relay”!

During our first hour, “Wacky Week” at a Wisconsin elementary school sounds like a blast of wholesome fun for the kids, right? But what if “Wacky Week” includes having the kids cross-dress?! A Christian radio group is railing against it and I’m not so sure I’m for it either!

After one soldier gave all for his country, his wife and his mom are fighting for control of his sperm! Apparently, the little guys are still viable even if they’re extracted after death! We’ll learn way more than you ever wanted to know about this subject and find out how the drama played out during our 8 o’clock hour!

A new rape awareness campaign is using a controversial t-shirt to encourage open discussion of a very sensitive subject! If I saw someone wearing a shirt like the one below, I think I’d find it totally disturbing, but maybe that’s the kind of attention getter people need to see!

We talk the vote with legendary ABC newsman Sam Donaldson at 9:30! He’s the man to talk to regarding the resignation of Hillary’s chief strategist, the Clintons’ millions, and the possibility that there could be a Vice President Condoleezza Rice!

 
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Gaydos After Dark–Friday, April 4, 2008

Published on April 4, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Our sheriff is on a mission in Guadalupe and it has a lot of people upset! I sure hope it’s worth it! We’ve got “The Top 7 Signs Arpaio’s Crime Sweep Is Not Working”!

Guadalupe’s Mayor Rebecca Jimenez offers no solutions for the immigration problem in her town, yet she doesn’t want Sheriff Joe poking around there either! We’ll find out what the recent crime crackdown looks like from up close as we hear from people who live in Guadalupe! We stick with this topic till 8:30!

Then, our Friday night wouldn’t be complete without our traditional foray into radio madness! This half hour stars you as we bring you “Up to 20″!

At 9 o’clock, school is in session again with Gaydosnomics 101! As bleak as things look, there’s still no one officially taking the plunge and using the “R” word! You’ll be getting your economic stimulus check in the mail pretty soon, but is it even going to help?!

It’s not easy bringing you ten big stories in ten minutes, but we do just that on “Gaydos on the News”! At 9:30, Headbanger Hanna Scott lends a hand as we bring you important news on bra related injuries and the perils of using an unlicensed exorcist!

Are Hillary’s lies more funny and interesting on late night t.v.? Let’s find out as we finish up another great week of Gaydos After Dark!

 
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Gaydos After Dark–Thursday, April 3, 2008

Published on April 3, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Obama had to give a persistent photo seeker the cold shoulder yesterday! We talk about how the guy got the big brushoff in “The Top 7 Signs You’re Not Going to Get a Picture with Barack Obama”!

Hey, in our first half hour, we’ll hear what Obama and the obnoxious photographer had to say to each other! Also, as if he didn’t have enough trouble, Jane Fonda is making it known that she endorses Barack Obama! What’s that, Senator? You say “Don’t do me any favors!”? Plus, would you believe me if I told you Hillary Clinton once tried to join the military? Too bad they couldn’t issue her a camouflage pantsuit!

At 7:30, I’ve gotta get Phil Gordon and Joe Arpaio to kiss and make up! I know they don’t always see eye to eye on immigration, but Gaydos can’t have Aunt Phil and Uncle Joe mad at each another like this!

Speaking of Sheriff Joe, his sweep of Guadalupe has been the catalyst for rallies in that area and Sandra Haros reports live from the middle of it all at 8 o’clock! We’ll talk about Arpaio’s reasons for looking closely at Guadalupe and, just before 9, we’ll hear from a man whose daughter was pulled over in the midst of tonight’s demonstrations!

Our third hour on this Red V. Blue Thursday begins with The McLaughlin Group’s Eleanor Clift! We’ll talk the vote, including the seemingly endless “3 a.m.” ads and whether the economy is going to be big trouble for McCain!

At 9:20, we’ve got another one! John McCain is hitting us over the head with a “3 a.m.” ad himself! Will this madness never end, ladies and gentlemen?

We’ve got Presidential Match Game at 9:30! One Republican and one Democrat go head to head against each other and our panel of brainiacs! Jarrett Carlen, B. Nicks and Hanna Scott are with us for another session of Red V. Blue Thursday hilarity!

Closing out tonight’s Gaydos After Dark, we’ll find out that the vociferous clergymen connected to this year’s election continue to come out of the woodwork!

It’s great to have Gaydos on the program!

 
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Gaydos After Dark–Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Published on April 2, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Cardinals Q.B. Matt Leinart got caught doing beer bongs with a bunch of underage girls, so why don’t we bring you “The Top 7 Signs Your Favorite Quarterback Parties Too Much”!

Unbelievably, a group of nine Georgia third-graders meticulously plotted to kill their teacher! One investigator likened it to some kind of military operation! I’ll tell you during tonight’s first hour, I find this terrifying and—oddly enough—impressive! What does this mean about the nation’s kids today? Are they geniuses or psychopaths?

After 8, we find out that the Georgia incident was nothing compared to a case in Baltimore! Authorities there say a first-grader showed up at school with, not one, but, two loaded handguns! We’ll hear from teachers and from students who, like Gaydos, wonder if they should run away screaming from today’s little kids!

Here at Gaydos After Dark, our pioneering research continues at 8:30 with another “Gaydos Experiment”! Hillary has a new “3 a.m. phone call” ad and I want to know what you think about it! She’s obviously taking a poke at John McCain, but somehow, I don’t think he minds!

At 9 o’clock, we’ve got Bon Jovi tickets to give away and all you have to do is—well—the same thing you usually have to do—sing along as if no one were listening or would, indeed, want to!

Ah, teenagers! They’re learning the ways of the adult world, including the rules of the road; but there certainly is a learning curve in that area! At 9:30, we’ll talk about a Texas judge who requires teen traffic violators to put stickers on their cars, marking them as unsafe drivers and displaying a number to call to report violations! The judge says this will make them drive more safely, but I wonder if this could be used unfairly against these kids! Calling in a false report could become the new substitute for pantsing the class dork!

Wrapping up the show, we’ll let you hear John McCain’s appearance on David Letterman last night! The two engaged in a little late night sparring match; guess who won!

 
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Gaydos After Dark–Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Published on April 1, 2008 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

By now you know, today’s news of tolls coming to Valley freeways tomorrow was nothing less than the best April Fool’s prank ever! We start our show with “The Top 7 Signs It’s April Fool’s Day”!

During our first hour, Barack Obama says he doesn’t want either of his daughters to be “punished with a baby” when they reach their teens! A lot of people are upset that he used the word “punishment,” but isn’t an unwanted baby just that to a teenager? I think Obama is being honest and I’m all for it!

At 8, it’s a p***ing contest between Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Mayor Phil Gordon! These guys cannot agree on immigration enforcement in our city! Gordon says Sheriff Joe needs to pick on illegals who come here to commit serious crimes and leave the rest alone! I agree that not every illegal comes here to create mayhem, but Sheriff Joe is the one who’s working his tail off to get a handle on the immigration crisis! Should these guys even be trying to work together on this?

There’s new information regarding a tragic MySpace suicide. Not only did a former friend’s mom perpetuate the online hoax that pushed Megan Meier over the edge, that mom also had help from another teen! We’ll hear this young woman say how sorry she is, but that’s not bringing Megan back! It’s appalling and it points to a real danger posed to kids on the Internet! We’ll discuss this at 9 o’clock.

We close out the show with an update to another story that deeply affects kids and parents. It turns out our worst fears may be true when it comes to the Surprise teacher arrested for child porn. Why on earth would the feds leave this guy in a teaching position for so long?!

 
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