Well Hillary may not get the Democratic nomination, but she does nail down a few small victories here and there! Tonight, I’m giving you “The Top 7 Reasons Hillary Won West Virginia”!

Governor Janet Napolitano is still hard at work on making Arizona a sanctuary state for undocumented immigrants! She’s stripped Sheriff Joe Arpaio of one million dollars he could have used to track them down! If only Mayor Gordon were in town so he could give her a big high-five on this! We’ll talk about it until 8:30 tonight!

Then, an Atlanta area bar owner doesn’t see the problem with this t-shirt he’s selling! Do you!? If not, how can you miss the lack of taste exercised here? I can’t imagine how anyone could miss the racist overtones, but I’ll take calls until 9:30 and see if someone out there has any defense for this!

At 9:30, we’ll return to the subject of those monies taken away from Sheriff Joe and his immigration crackdown! We’ll hear what Arpaio had to say about this setback and consider how his efforts will fare with these funds taken out of the equation!

 

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Dearly beloved, Crawford, Texas is all abuzz over the nuptial celebration for our president’s daughter! That’s why we’re bringing you “The Top 7 Surprises Planned for Jenna Bush’s Wedding”!

With the economy looking so bleak right now, we all have to tighten our belts! Even Gaydos is being thrifty when it comes to sending Mom a gift this Mother’s Day! My beautiful tribute to the woman who gave me life will be a text message reading “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! :)” Tell me you love it! That’s our 7 o’clock topic!

Totally unrelated to my Mother’s Day text message, at 7:30, we’ll ask for stories of kids’ escapades that made you moms wish you weren’t mothers!

At 8 o’clock, we’ll talk about how delightful the race between McCain and Obama is going to be! Surely, these guys won’t go negative against each other! Or will they?

At 8:20, Bill Clinton goes off on attendees at a speech in West Virginia! That’s a state Hill has a good chance of winning, if Bill hasn’t killed it for her! He tends to do that, y’know!

We’re bringing you “Up to 20″ at 8:30! It’s just like Radio YouTube and you’re the star! Get your thoughts on the air with our Friday night tradition!

Starting off our third hour, you won’t believe how one mom dealt with her daughter’s problem with a playground bully!

9:30 brings us to “Gaydos on the News,” with this week’s edition featuring the story of a guy who performed a tracheotomy on himself!

We’ve got one last thought about moms before we go!  We’ll have a listen to the ad featuring John McCain and his mommy!

 

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Well, Hillary Clinton won the Indiana primary last night! Barely!! Still, she doesn’t seem discouraged at all! We’re starting off tonight’s show with “The Top 7 Reasons Hillary Refuses to Drop Out of the Race”!

That’s right. Hillary hasn’t won this thing, so far, but she shows no signs of going away quietly! I hate to say it, but I see a back room deal in the future for the Democratic candidates! During our first big hour, we’ll learn that if Obama wants Hillary to bow out, he’s gonna have to offer her the V.P. spot!

Sheriff Joe Arpaio has now taken his crime suppression round-ups to predominantly white Fountain Hills! Does that absolve him of the racial profiling he’s always accused of? Let’s find out at 8 o’clock!

Tonight’s final hour brings us to a high school trip to Spain! A bunch of young people are going to be exposed to a new culture, exotic surroundings—and booze! The age restrictions there aren’t as strict as here in the U.S., so the organizers say it’s okay if these kids have a drink! Is it a big deal? Eh…I don’t think so.

 

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Oh, it’s the fifth of May and I’m celebrating with my hot, juicy, sexy illegal alien girlfriend right after the show! It’s too bad everyone can’t have the great time Gaydos is looking forward to, so we’ll bring you “The Top 7 Signs You’ve Had a Bad Cinco de Mayo”!

During our first hour, honk if these gas prices are killing you! Both McCain and Clinton are calling for a long holiday from gas taxes this summer, but before you start salivating over that, consider this. Barack Obama tells us that a measure like that will only save you about thirty dollars over the whole summer! We’ll discuss this in another session of Gaydosnomics 101 as we brace for the price at the pump to get even higher!

One human rights group is celebrating Cinco de Mayo by beating up on a piñata that looks like Sheriff Joe Arpaio! They say it’s a demonstration against hate, but—well—correct me if I’m wrong, but this sounds like a pretty hateful display! Sandra Haros will report from the scene at 8 o’clock and we’ll consider what might happen if—say—someone demonstrated against illegal immigration using a piñata that looked like an illegal alien!

Our “Rated R Issue of the Night” rears its ugly head at 9 o’clock! The scandal at hand centers around an openly gay male high school student who has been nominated for Prom Queen! School officials are not down with this!

Sam Donaldson is the crown jewel of the Gaydos After Dark political team and he joins me at 9:30! We’re set for another big day of primary coverage tomorrow and we’ll ask Sam, is the Obama/Clinton battle coming down to its final skirmish?

 

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These worshipers in India are throwing babies from a height of fifty feet! It’s true! Click the image to see for yourself!

Tonight on Gaydos After Dark, Barbara Walters, a shameless hussy? She admits that she once had an affair with a married U.S. senator! We begin tonight’s show with “The Top 7 Other Surprises in Barbara Walters’ New Book”!

During our first hour, I’ve checked my calendar and can now confirm, it’s May first! So where, oh where, is this year’s “Million Immigrant March”?! As much as I love not having traffic blocked all over Phoenix, this has me wondering what dissuaded all but four protesters from showing their faces today. Maybe this is a result of Sheriff Joe’s continuing round-ups of illegals—or maybe it’s just that demonstrators have figured out that these marches are no way to get results! At 7:45, we’ll hear from Elias Bermudez of Immigrants Without Borders! Maybe he can shed some light on the subject!

I have to tell you the story of a softball player who hit one out of the park and then tore a major ligament as she was rounding the bases, so she couldn’t continue her run for home! Game over, ladies and gentlemen? I guess not, because members of the opposing team got permission from their coach to carry her around the bases! What an insult to the drive and effort of competition! This is our 8 o’clock topic and I say, winning is everything! Take advantage of the situation and win, people!

Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon just can’t continue making this city a sanctuary for illegals! At 9, we’ll discuss a push to have his election recalled!

Then, it’s more of Hillary V. O’Reilly! Find out exactly what Hillary’s going to do about sanctuary cities!

It wouldn’t be Red V. Blue Thursday without Presidential Match Game! That’s what we’re doing at 9:30 as we welcome back our panel of stars: B. Nicks, Hanna Scott and Jarrett Carlen!

We wrap things up with another “John McCain Senior Moment”! Cindy McCain talked to Jay Leno last night. We’ll hear her recall that fateful day (about ninety years ago!) when she met her man! Plus, she’ll reveal that she does most of the driving! Is it time for Grampa John to give up the keys?

 

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