It’s great to have Gaydos on the program and we’re starting off tonight’s show on the subject of Operation Scheduled Departure. That’s the program—and by that, I mean joke—in which illegal aliens turn themselves in and schedule a date to be sent home. I’m sure that’s going to work really well—and by that, I mean there’s zero chance of this working.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but Nancy Pelosi is not taking care of you when it comes to the U.S. gas supply. Some Democratic representatives are warming up to the idea of drilling here at home. However, Pelosi seems to be wheeling and dealing to keep you from wheeling around more cheaply on domestic oil. We’ll tell you about this at 8:30.

At 8 o’clock, Mary Winkler admitted to killing her husband and now, after only two years, she’s a free woman and has custody of her kids. That’s not smart and it’s not safe! Somebody else should raise the Winkler kids and I’ll tell you who I think should do it.

At 9, did McCain suggest that his wife Cindy go topless at a biker gathering?

Then, at 9:20, we’ll check out Paris Hilton’s foray into political leadership! Click the photo to see her big campaign ad.

After the news at 9:30, I’ve gotta get back to the completely useless Operation Scheduled Departure. I still can’t figure out why they think any illegal would voluntarily give up what they have here in the U.S..

 

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At 7 o’clock, this guy kills a 7-11 clerk and brings his kids along! See the video here.

We’ll also talk about a kid who shot his mom because he didn’t want to do his chores—and a teenager who convinces us, once and for all, that stupid teens should never have kids. As we finish up tonight’s first hour, there’s one more story of family dysfunction that would be funny if it weren’t so horribly negligent.

8 o’clock brings us to a couple of the biggest disasters of our day: the energy crisis and the U.S. Congress. Just as the House was getting around to voting on a new energy bill, Speaker Nancy Pelosi decided to close up shop! That’s not what I call working for the American people! President Bush could force them to get back to the job at hand; I’ll tell you about that too.

Starting off our final hour, a company is getting rid of a recognized American holiday to make room for a Muslim holy day. I can’t tell you how sick I am of us pandering to Muslims when they should be adjusting to our way of life.

Barack Obama got a big bounce in popularity after his recent world tour and then immediately lost ground in the face of John McCain’s negative campaign ads. Just before we wrap up at 10, I’ll tell you what Obama’s gotta do to get back on top.

 

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People are breathing a little easier as gas prices drop a few cents, but don’t—I repeat: don’t—get too comfortable. At 7 o’clock, I’ll tell you why the high prices have been good for us.

At 7:30, we’re talking the vote. If J-Mac’s a smart guy, he’ll go ahead and choose a V.P. now.

At 8 o’clock, over half of all women in the workplace have a baby under a year old at home, so companies are allowing moms to bring newborns to work with them. Screaming kids at work…diapers at work…this will be nothing but a headache for everyone involved!

Keith Woody is a lineman on his high school football team. He’s also deaf. In an already-dangerous sport, doesn’t this disability increase the danger to this kid and his fellow players? We’ll find out what you think at 8:45.

Starting off our third big hour, I’ll talk to Sam Donaldson, the crown jewel of the Gaydos After Dark political team. We’ll discuss Obama’s trip abroad and how McCain has been spending his summer.

Then, we’ll tell you whether you qualify for aid available through the new 300-billion-dollar housing bailout package, as well how to sign up if you do. That all starts at 9:20.

Oh, how far ASU has fallen. They’re only number seventeen on the list of top party schools in the U.S.. Where is their pride?

 

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Starting off tonight’s Gaydos After Dark, we bring you breaking news as three people are shot at South Mountain Community College! Reporters Sandra Haros and Bob McClay give us the details!

It seems that Barack Obama can do no wrong on his overseas tour! Meanwhile, here at home, John McCain is in a panic that he’s losing ground to the Democratic candidate! We’l talk about it at 7:30!

At 8, a jilted woman sues her ex for leaving her—and wins! This could happen to you! I’m certainly a hit with the ladies—it could happen to me, too! Sounds like the guy was a jerk, but you won’t believe the chunk of money she was awarded! Maybe she sued because he broke it off by way of a post-it note!

Congress has passed a 300-billion-dollar housing bailout package! I don’t like it and neither do you, according to statistics! At 9 o’clock, we’ll discuss how the U.S. Congress continues to botch this sort of thing and what the heck happened to the veto George W. Bush promised us!

9:30 brings us to Eleanor Clift of Newsweek and The McLaughlin Report! We’ll talk about which candidate can represent us best on the world stage, which one we trust to get the economy back on track—and what’s with the rumors of infidelity surrounding John Edwards?

Neighbors of a woman in Mesa are ticked off about the portable toilet in her front yard! She says it’s there for her party guests to use and that’s why you won’t see Gaydos at any of her weekend barbecues!

 

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As we start tonight’s show, we’ll hear from one of the men claiming sexual harassment went on at The Cheesecake Factory. I have to say, something isn’t right about this! An attack like the ones we’re hearing about could happen to a guy. Once! I just can’t believe a guy would allow this to happen twelve times!

U.S. legislators are proving once again that they’re clueless on the foreclosure crisis! I’ll tell you what’s wrong with what they did today! It’s Gaydosnomics 101 at 7:30!

At 8 o’clock, what on earth is going through everyone’s heads these days? A guy names his kid after a radio show for a gas card. A woman profits from picking Dr. Pepper (the company!) as her bridesmaid! What a nation of sellouts!

Airlines are slashing flight perks to the bare bones! They may even get rid of flight attendants! Well, think about it! No peanuts or colas or blankets to bring since they’ve cut those out; maybe we don’t need them anymore! And, maybe that’ll get the prices down! We’ll discuss this at 8:30!

At 9:30, we’ve got “Gaydos on the News”! Even when everyone is in dire economic straits, people are chomping at the bit to get the newest version of the iPhone! Plus, a Canadian woman loses custody of her kids after sending her daughter to school with a swastika drawn on her skin!

It’s vacation time for Gaydos and I’m taking off for parts unknown! I’ll be back in a week, 7 to 10, 7 to 10, 7 to 10! That’s how I roll!!!

 

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