The Same Old Cardinals loudly passed away on the afternoon of January 18, 2009. Cause of death was from a clutch 14-play, 72-yard drive in front of more than 70 thousand fans and hundreds of thousands watching on television.
Born in 1988, the Same Old Cardinals lived a long, pointless life. They averaged only 5.7 wins per season from 1988 thru 2007. They finished .500 or better in 1994, 1998, and 2007. Often times playing in front of a half empty stadium, or, sometimes a stadium filled with Dallas Cowboy fans, the Same Old Cardinals could often be seen making vacation plans by October.
The high point of the Same Old Cardinals surely came in 1995, when on October 1st, Chiefs quarterback Steve Bono ran 76-yards, untouched for a touchdown on a naked boot leg. Things only got better later that year, when on Christmas night, Coach Buddy Ryan walked off the field before the game against the Cowboys had ended. The winner had left town.
In a lifetime filled with late signing first-round draft picks, blustery bravado-filled coaches and a near annual top ten draft pick, the Same Old Cardinals nearly suffered a fatal blow in 1998 when they made the playoffs and beat the Dallas Cowboys in Dallas in the first round before falling to the Vikings.
But the Same Old Cardinals made a remarkable comeback in the spring of 1999 when they failed to keep Lomas Brown, Jamir Miller or Larry Centers.
The demise of the Same Old Cardinals began on April 12th, 2003 when workers began construction of the University of Phoenix Stadium. Another blow was dealt on September 10th, 2006 when the stadium opened to universal praise. But the Same Old Cardinals received a dose of good medicine when they hosted the Chicago Bears on Monday Night Football.
The health of the Same Old Cardinals went on life support on January 14th, 2007 with the hiring of Ken Whisenhunt.
Hanging on for dear life, the final blow came when Tim Hightower caught a touchdown pass from Kurt Warner.
The Same Old Cardinals are survived by Bill Bidwill, Michael Bidwill, Larry Wilson and Ron Wolfley.
Funeral services will be held on February first.
Comments? Email me!
Really like the article as well as hearing you on the radio talking about it. At least locally people are pushing for everyone to realize that the “same old cardinals” are gone.
Great stuff Burnsy!
Classic! Great job Dave. I was laughing so hard I started crying. Anyone reading this that did not hear it, the audio is worth the listen. WE ARE WHO WE THOUGHT WE WERE!
God speed same old Cardinals.
Don’t call them dead and gone just yet are you forgetting about ZOMBIES!!!???!!!
Good laugh, lets see if they get last minute CPR in Tampa
One season doesn’t erase anything. This franchise is still historically awful. And as far as the “no respect” aspect of things…..well Cardinals if you didn’t lose at times this year in such a fantastic fashion then people wouldn’t see you as a team just about to fall apart at any minute. Sorry AZ faithful, the Steelers are going to walk all over your new favorite team.
Gave me goosebumps being a diehard cardinals fan!
thanks !! very helpful post!