Burnsy unveils his “this can’t happen” list for the Arizona Diamondbacks:

Reynolds striking out 200 times AND committing too many errors

Chad Qualls blowing any more than 2 consecutive saves at any point during the season

Justin Upton playing right field like a drunk staggering to the bathroom

Stephen Drew regressing

Eric Byrnes’ hamstring problem popping up again

Bob Melvin starting Tony Clark more than once a homestand.

The D-backs pitching to Manny with runners on

Jon Garland being ONLY good at eating innings.  Eating innings is not a skill, if it were; Russ Ortiz would be good at something other than eating

Randy Johnson getting career win #300 versus Arizona

Chris Young flailing at the low and away slider